Thoughts on Turning 29

29 feels the same. I have to remember to put the correct age when booking bus tickets. Which reminds me – I have to travel more.

The physical education teacher who I liked the most in school was 29.

The other day, a friend of mine ran his hand over my hair and said that my hairline is receding. I replied with a hmmm. I wish I was in a relationship when I looked younger. Also, there is a tendency to run away when people talk about relationships.

After servicing, my cycle feels new. It cost me a bomb. When I gave it for servicing, the guy at the shop was shocked. It was in bad shape. He could not believe I was able to ride it without falling. He said if I don’t take care of my body, one day it will break down. It’s the same with cycle. At that moment I thought, am I taking care of my body every day?

Curd doesn’t repulse me anymore. I cook curd rice a lot because it’s so easy and healthy. Thoughts of excelling in cooking are taking a backseat. No time. Also, ghee makes everything tasty

The items on my bucket list have a lot of cycling involved. If I don’t do it now when will I do it?

I look forward to my evening tea after work. It’s the time I breathe a little. And notice the sounds around me. Nothing else exists. Just the tea and I.

The Tiramisu ice cream I am eating is depositing itself around my belly. My pants are getting tighter. My pants are getting older too. There are a few holes in my pockets. Have my students observed that I wear only one set of pants?

There is always a nagging thought that I can do better at work. Whatever I am doing is not enough. I need to think hard about my career and my growth.

Cycling in the night is the best. The lights. The sound of vehicles on the road. The wind.

I have never had a room of my own. The thought of having a place which I can call mine sounds enticing now.

I tried reading The Grapes of Wrath. I couldn’t continue. Maybe I was not in a good state of mind. I let it go for now. Strangely I am okay with it.

The idea of not having a kid of my own is liberating.

My mother recently learnt how to text. She wished me ‘Happy birthday’. It feels weird because she has never said it in words before.

It scares me that I might end up with someone only because I would hate the feeling of being alone slightly more than loving the other person.

The idea of living in the countryside doesn’t excite me anymore. I want to live amidst the hustle and bustle of the city. I want to see the city lights from my window.

How much I earn is important now. Switching to a lower-paying but a better job would be harder than it was before.

Movies (or TV series) are like books. I like to own a copy of a good movie on my computer. I re-watch the scenes I like. I quote them in real-life conversations.

The other day I bought a hair conditioner for the first time. I did not know how to use it. I still think it’s not worth the investment. Coconut oil before shampoo works the same.

I am starting to cherish the phone conversations with friends. People can’t stay near forever. They move on. I need to find ways to stay connected.

There may not be a better state of mind or body. Maybe there is. It’s not black and white. I need to find peace in the in-between.